no but women are so badass okay
because there will inevitably come a point in every woman’s life where she wakes up in a pool of her own blood and her reaction will be dammit now i have to do laundry
that is some suave superhero shit and you won’t ever be able to convince me otherwise
daddies!klaine on father’s day :)
The only thing that registers in Blaine’s mind when he drifts lazily awake on Father’s Day is sore.
He sure as hell doesn’t regret it, but as it stands his arms are still on fire when he moves them in their shoulder sockets, and the skin of his wrists is chaffed in a manner that will require a couple days’ healing. They’d planned the night out, more or less, days in advance, knowing that they probably wouldn’t have a spare moment to themselves on the actual day of Father’s Day, but they wanted to celebrate nonetheless.
So they settled for the “midnight on Father’s Day” celebration, which found the girls sound asleep in bed, and Kurt and Blaine decidedly not asleep in bed, with Blaine’s arms extended over his head and secured to the headboard, and both of them trying desperately to not make noise. Which, really, was half the fun, and most of the work.
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
my dad accidentally butt-dialed me while on a date with my mum
they have the weirdest fucking conversations omfg
important edit: NEVER MIND THEY STARTED TALKING SMACK ABOUT ME. WHAT BITCHES. THEY SAID I EAT ALL OF THE COCOA PUFFS WHENEVER WE GET THEM.
WELL, SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL OF YOUR COCOA PUFFS NOW YOU CUNTS.
why would she sell sea shells by a sea shore when you can just pick them off of the ground for free that’s not how you run a business
She’s sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce. Since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, so she still sustains solid savings.
home alone? did you mean time to practice for my broadway debut?
He “works” with guys named Sam, Dean and Crowley
He has a really huge “hockey bag” that we’re not allowed to look in
We have an outrageous amount of salt in the basement
(that’s just the start, there’s more in the garage)
He also really likes his leather jacket.
UPDATE: HE’S ALWAYS ON BUSINESS TRIPS AND ONCE CAME HOME FROM A “HOCKEY GAME” WITH A HUGE CUT ON HIS NECK
Your father is a hunter.
one of my friends noticed a mosquito had landed on his bicep so he flexed and the rush of blood to his biceps muscle filled up the mosquito so much it exploded and to this day it’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard
have u ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating
what if in school instead of raising our hands we raised our legs
excuse me I have a question.
I WAS SO NOT PREPARED FOR THAT LAST ONE